Here I am sitting on a laundry basket with a blanket for a cushion sipping Lemon Ruski out of a glass bottle. When I went to the bottle shop and started thinking of a drink that would agree with me.. (For a while I was a Canadian Club drinker and then apple schnapps. I don't know why but the drinks seem to bring a dreadful feeling over me) ...and I remembered when I was about 7 years of age when I first tasted Lemon Ruski I couldn't taste the alcohol, it simply tasted like lemonade, and for a kid that is a nice taste! So I decided to buy Lemon Ruski. To my delight I can not taste the alcohol.

Now I listen to Regina Spektor (the Far album), looking on the net for a course I can do in regards to art. I'm pushing my drawing hard, only some parts seem to become better... others just seem to suck beyond belief. But I shouldn't put myself down... where will that get me? Locked away afraid, and depressed. HOPE! That I can be taught to draw really well.


I sit in this room.. it's like an art room. My glass desk has a canvas and a table like easel. An Absolut Vodka clear bottle with my paint brushes in it.A tiny bowl with coins in it. Technical art books. My sketch books. My Peanuts collection, my Fruits Basket collection, and my The Tarot Cafe collection. My guitar in against the corner wall. I also have a pile of clean clothes on the floor. I am hoping motivation kicks in soon. I have been delaying cleaning for so many weeks. My boyfriend does a lot of cleaning around here. That gets to me, as somewhere in this head I'm thinking that it is my place and I am responsible for cleaning up around here. I have this dream where I can be an artist of all kinds. So I lack that motivation clean I want to learn about drawing and music.. and failing miserably I must say.

The boys and girls watch each other eat, when they really want to watch each other sle lee leee leee leee eeep... YOU are so SWEET! - Regina Spektor Dance Anthem of the 80s.

I recommend people watch the music video as it is not the average sex filled music video, it's just simple and to sum it all up there is the sexy and beautiful Regina Spektor shaking her groove thing!

Does anyone have trouble reading books that are based on our generation? I do. I can't even get through the book Twilight. I tried before the movie was released. However then a friend started reading and beat me... and she knows how to let things slip from the book. That gets me thinking.. why can't people keep their mouths shut? Mystery. Why ruin it for someone else? Well enough about my complaining.. the book was never completed! I'm onto Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Never read the book... although I have heard about it... but not what it was about. I'm only at chapter three or four and I like it so far. I have Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte on the bookshelf I only got through a few pages until by boyfriend started reading it to me and I feel asleep and I haven't gone back to it. Jane Eyre though didn't have me that intrigued in the first pages like Wuthering Heights.

Well I'm finishing up my first bottle of Lemon Ruski for the day... the second bottle is waiting. So I leave this journal entry with good faith and health to all.